SCENE 1 - A PARK - LATE AT NIGHT
Two hooded figures sit on a bench in the middle of an eerily dark, deserted green. Trains and tower blocks nearby indicate a city.
A cyclist appears from some bushes at the other end of the park and frantically pedals towards the two figures. He is dressed in black and wears sunglasses.
The two figures stand as the mysterious cyclist quickly approaches. Leaping of his bike, the cyclist darts towards the two figures and lays a small package on the floor in front of them before sprinting furiously away.
Oi, where did you get this bruv?
FIGURE (SHOUTING FROM A DISTANCE)
I found it. Just like you are finding it. I know nothing.
He left his bike.
SCENE 2 - HOUNSLOW HIGH STREET - LATE AT NIGHT.
LYRICAL walks while RAGO MARK rides the bike.
What’s on that ting man?
I dunno man. Everyone’s got their own theory you get me? I heard its the first garage mixtape ever created - they put an old record on 45 rpm by accident instead of 33 and one dude just started MCing...
One brear told me that Oxide and Neutrino used to work in Mothercare ‘til they heard the mixtape.
Mothercare... that’s nuts.
That’s what I’m sayin’... I know one guy who works there now. But he ain’t ever gonna hear no mixtape. This is our time man. B Unit ya get mah!
Yeah rude boy! Our time to shine!
I need to get famous man, quick. This shit is takin’ too long right now.
What was goin on with my man in the park?! He looked lost bruv!
He looked cracked man.
I overheard one guy in Pizza Hut talkin about the mixtape and he said that the UN were after it cos it is catagorised as a weapon of mass destruction!
Seen. What is UN? A crew?
Seen, seen. Mass destruction sounds nuts. We should call our album that.
Means we gotta be careful with this thing though.
What, you shook?!
Nah nah, but we just need to hold it down. It is deeper than we even know bruv. One boy from college said that it aint even a proper mixtape. It’s a metaphor.
I dunno but it sounds deeper still.
Truesay. There’s none for havin’ some fuckin men in black guys knockin at my mums yard. She would batter me... Last time jakes came to the house she tried to shank me blud!
Your mum is joke.
Ain’t a joke when it’s real blud. I had to stay in my bathroom for two days. Man was eatin soap and drinkin toilet water.
Why didn’t you just drink from the tap?
I was tied up.
Later... (long pause)...so what, can your boy at Mothercare get discount?
You got something that can play this? Been a while since I even seen a tape...
Yeah man, I still got that same hi-fi from year seven!
(laughing) Later! That must be a collectors item man! That’s some Cash in the Attic shit.
Dickhead. You wanna hear the Mixtape of Destiny you better respect the damn hi-fi.
They shouldn’t have called it the Mixtapeof Destiny. That name is weak. They should have called it something more aggy... like the Darkside Grit-Tape.
Grit-tape?! You joker. I would have called it something deep but still kinda rugged like... Solid Love.
I swear MC Romeo’s album was called that.
He had an album? I remember him doin’ a tune with that Christina Milian. She was LIVE!
Yeah yeah yeah she is deeper still. What, better than Lisa Maffia though?
Nah nah nah nah nah nah...
You get me. I wonder who named the Mixtape though. Like, who was there.
Yeah, he is madly old still...
ACTUALLY YOU KNOW WHAT! You know what I would call it?! The Mass Destruction Ultra-Shank Blessing.
Yeah that’s a sick name still.
That’s what I told Claire that I wanted to call my first child.
What so she would get an abortion?
Joker. Is it ready?
Yeah. What, shall I do it now?
What, you ready?
Course man. (pause) Nah, wait wait.
Aite man. Go on.