16 March 2011
Sam was sadistic,
Some thought him autistic,
Though that term gets thrown around too much nowadays,
A bit of a misfit,
He liked to dunk biscuits
And let them break off and disappear away
One day watching TV, he heard this weird thing
About using your urine on jellyfish stings
And this got him thinking about what would happen
If you pissed on a jellyfish – what would be it’s reaction?
Would they become impotent? Would it do them no harm?
Would their stings become things they just used like arms?
Maybe the effects would only last a minute?
Or maybe they’d melt into the sea like a biscuit?
Anyway, rest assured all you jellyfish reading,
These horrendous thoughts were equally fleeting,
Very soon his mind returned to other things,
Putting flies in the freezer, pulling off their wings
And attaching them to pieces of string
And walking them around like tiny dogs in his kitchen,
He’s probably forgotten the idea by now,
So I suppose we’ll probably never find out,
If Sam ever considers this experiment again,
I’ll make sure I’m there and I’ll let you know then.